Wow, that’s awesome. Really? Wow.

One of the things that has been the most interesting since we changed the diets of the boys has been the comments and questions that I have gotten from people after reading the blog or telling them what our family has been doing.  Well, being the shy, delicate flower that I am (stop laughing, Chrissy), I’ve been shouting from the rafters about this change and what it’s done for our family.  Chrissy has been, too, albeit in her more quiet, reserved, beautiful way.

So, to properly appreciate the yelling that I am going to do today, please find your closest church, auditorium, empty warehouse, or other large source of unimpeded space.  That’s okay, I’ll wait...

Good, now that you’re there, the biggest question that we have gotten is, “is the change really that dramatic?”  And to that I say a resounding "YES!"  It truly is that dramatic.  Before, when we would take our children out anywhere, it would be an exercise in frustration, leading to some truly awkward moments when we tried to “discipline our children into behaving.”

When your children are suffering from what amounts to a mind-disabling condition, it’s impossible to get them to behave and we, as parents who believe in loving discipline, were simply forcing them to ask the question in their heads, and sometimes out loud, “Why are we being punished?  We don’t understand.  There’s nothing that we are doing,” even though their behavior was truly unacceptable.  They just couldn’t fathom why in the world they were being punished because they had no sense of bodily control.  They couldn’t make their little minds conform to what they KNEW they should be doing and were being punished for it.  At the same time, we couldn’t know what was going on in their heads, and simply saw behavior that we viewed as “being ugly” or “out of control."

In reality for us as parents, it’s quite heartbreaking to look back on and has led to several tearful moments as we punish ourselves for putting our children through what we now see as a completely preventable condition.  But, for parents who are in the same boat, don’t punish yourselves.  Most of the modern medical community doesn’t even acknowledge that there truly IS an issue or an allergy when there is not an acute physically symptomatic attack or even a prolonged allergic reaction that can be measured.  Allergies affecting psychological development and behavior are just now being researched and talked about in mainstream medical communities.  The best thing I can tell you to do is pray, and listen for those people around you that God puts in your path that may see something you don’t.  Talk to your doctor, and rationally explain to them the situation and ask them if they would be willing to look into doing an elimination diet with your precious child.

As for the change from the perspective of someone else, here’s how my Mom puts it:

Before, during “wild-man” syndrome, the children were out of control, not responsible for their own actions and constantly moving and talking.  But, after the change, it has been such a miracle to get to see the personalities and control demonstrated by both children with no milk.  The first time that we were together for a meal in the same house, and Benton was able to sit through without getting up was just a 360 degree turn from where he had been.  The change with Gabriel was more subtle, thanks to his age, but was dramatic in its own way.  

Being able to see their personalities actually come out has been very enjoyable and I feel like I have been able to communicate with them better and they are better able to understand that we love them simply for who they are.  One thing you don’t have to do anymore is, you don’t have to worry about being able to take them into public.  They were fine in the store with me yesterday, they just wanted to go look at toys.  Which is totally normal behavior for their ages (6 and 9).  On the driveway, after they came to my house, they played outside on the driveway and weren’t fighting. They’d check in every few minutes and everything was “hunky dory.”  That’s how it should be.

So, yes is my answer.  Aren’t you glad that I’m succinct?  Have questions or comments?  Anything you want to see or hear about on this blog?  Leave a comment in the comments section below.

Chicken Nuggets, Spitting and... “What Do You Mean You Were On Red Today?"

Yesterday was NOT a banner day in the Ervin household.  We got home yesterday and picked up the boys from daycare only to find out that, while my 9-year-old had a great day at school (no tally marks, woohoo!), my 6-year-old had been hitting people and spitting in the day care all afternoon.  Well, that just wasn’t going to fly with me.  I gave him a small comment there in the day care and waited to talk to him until we got to the car.  

One of my first questions?  “What did you eat today?”  Well, it went downhill from there.  He let me know that he was on red at school in addition to being not so nice at day care AND had chosen to purchase chicken nuggets from school for his lunch.  Well, needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper.  Though, looking back on it, what 6-year-old WOULDN’T choose chicken nuggets from his school?  They’re brown, “yummy” and familiar.  

So, I waited a second until I had had just a few minutes to breathe...

“Benton, what did you have for snack today?”

“Ummm, chicken nuggets.”

“No, you said that was lunch.  What did you have for snack at day care?”

“Well, I lost the snack that you sent me, so I had chicken nuggets again at day care.”

Oh, Good Lord, help me now in this my time of great trial!

“And your teacher at day care said that was okay?”

“Uh huh.”

So we went home, I promptly printed out our new go-to list for milk ingredients, and drove back to the day care, letting them know that if they were going to feed my child foods that were from the “no longer approved” list, that counting his behavior against him was not very fair.  I was nice about it, and made sure not to burn any bridges, but inside, I was a raging bull!  My daddy bear came out and I just wanted to  RIP TO SHREDS... HULK MAD!  But outside, at the day care, I was all diplomat.

Unfortunately, I did what I am all too good at, and took parts of that frustration out on my family.  Being frustrated with them about the situation at hand doesn’t do any good, though.  So, I calmed down and we went back to doing what we, as a family, are doing best right now: making the best of a bad situation.

I felt so awful for my children, though.  Especially Benton.  He certainly has the worst of the two in terms of how he reacts to milk.  In fact, he’s the reason we figured out the situation in the first place, it's because HIS behavior was so off the wall.

All through dinner, Chrissy was rubbing on the poor child’s head and legs, just trying to make sure that he could sit still for at least the majority of the meal as he sat there squirming and talking and telling and retelling stories from books that you, I, the school librarian and probably the Library of Congress have never heard of.  Tales of how the small vegetable got hurt and hit somebody and... and... and... and... but Daddy, are you listening?  Benton, you really should be quiet, now.  But daddy, the vegetable... I’m trying to tell you about the vegetable.  Benton, just hush.  Really, you should just stop talking.

So the vegetable was at school...

BENTON, no more talking until we get home.  (I can feel my shoulders drooping just having to recount his behavior.)

So... after that evening, he finally “came down” about 8:30 p.m. and went to bed without incident.  Long story short...

so long school lunches.

I’ll be sharing a recipe tomorrow for a coconut milk chocolate mousse.  We’ll bring it to the movie night at our church, so those around can give it a whirl (assuming there’s any left).  I’ll also be posting a review of a cheese substitute we found.