Wow, that’s awesome. Really? Wow.

One of the things that has been the most interesting since we changed the diets of the boys has been the comments and questions that I have gotten from people after reading the blog or telling them what our family has been doing.  Well, being the shy, delicate flower that I am (stop laughing, Chrissy), I’ve been shouting from the rafters about this change and what it’s done for our family.  Chrissy has been, too, albeit in her more quiet, reserved, beautiful way.

So, to properly appreciate the yelling that I am going to do today, please find your closest church, auditorium, empty warehouse, or other large source of unimpeded space.  That’s okay, I’ll wait...

Good, now that you’re there, the biggest question that we have gotten is, “is the change really that dramatic?”  And to that I say a resounding "YES!"  It truly is that dramatic.  Before, when we would take our children out anywhere, it would be an exercise in frustration, leading to some truly awkward moments when we tried to “discipline our children into behaving.”

When your children are suffering from what amounts to a mind-disabling condition, it’s impossible to get them to behave and we, as parents who believe in loving discipline, were simply forcing them to ask the question in their heads, and sometimes out loud, “Why are we being punished?  We don’t understand.  There’s nothing that we are doing,” even though their behavior was truly unacceptable.  They just couldn’t fathom why in the world they were being punished because they had no sense of bodily control.  They couldn’t make their little minds conform to what they KNEW they should be doing and were being punished for it.  At the same time, we couldn’t know what was going on in their heads, and simply saw behavior that we viewed as “being ugly” or “out of control."

In reality for us as parents, it’s quite heartbreaking to look back on and has led to several tearful moments as we punish ourselves for putting our children through what we now see as a completely preventable condition.  But, for parents who are in the same boat, don’t punish yourselves.  Most of the modern medical community doesn’t even acknowledge that there truly IS an issue or an allergy when there is not an acute physically symptomatic attack or even a prolonged allergic reaction that can be measured.  Allergies affecting psychological development and behavior are just now being researched and talked about in mainstream medical communities.  The best thing I can tell you to do is pray, and listen for those people around you that God puts in your path that may see something you don’t.  Talk to your doctor, and rationally explain to them the situation and ask them if they would be willing to look into doing an elimination diet with your precious child.

As for the change from the perspective of someone else, here’s how my Mom puts it:

Before, during “wild-man” syndrome, the children were out of control, not responsible for their own actions and constantly moving and talking.  But, after the change, it has been such a miracle to get to see the personalities and control demonstrated by both children with no milk.  The first time that we were together for a meal in the same house, and Benton was able to sit through without getting up was just a 360 degree turn from where he had been.  The change with Gabriel was more subtle, thanks to his age, but was dramatic in its own way.  

Being able to see their personalities actually come out has been very enjoyable and I feel like I have been able to communicate with them better and they are better able to understand that we love them simply for who they are.  One thing you don’t have to do anymore is, you don’t have to worry about being able to take them into public.  They were fine in the store with me yesterday, they just wanted to go look at toys.  Which is totally normal behavior for their ages (6 and 9).  On the driveway, after they came to my house, they played outside on the driveway and weren’t fighting. They’d check in every few minutes and everything was “hunky dory.”  That’s how it should be.

So, yes is my answer.  Aren’t you glad that I’m succinct?  Have questions or comments?  Anything you want to see or hear about on this blog?  Leave a comment in the comments section below.

How Did We Get Here? AKA- Have You Been Drinking?

So, I've had a few questions since this morning asking for me to detail how we got to the point that we saw that milk might be the culprit in our boys' behavior. Well...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... No, that's the wrong movie.

Once upon a time... Wrong book.

Hmm, let's see. Our life with our beautiful boys started in 2002 with the birth of our oldest son, Gabriel. He was absolutely adorable; bubbly and full of life. We started noticing at about the age of 3 that he was what a therapist would later refer to as "intractible," or incapable of accepting and dealing with changing conditions. He had a temper on him that would simply show up in situations that didn't really warrant anger, and he would lash out at family and friends for no reason. He was never a horrible child. On the contrary, he has always been a joy to be around and is a precocious, inquisitive young man, with artistic skills that are out of this world. But, things were never "normal." they were always a bit off-kilter, and we have had concerns for a long time that we were doing something terribly, terribly wrong.

His brother, Benton, came along in 2005, another perfect baby. Happy, precious and fun to be with. He has grown into the kind of child that can wrap you around his little finger until you pop and charm the socks off a rack of clothing at the store. But, shortly after his third birthday, he started in on what my mother coined the "wild-man syndrome." He would talk incessantly, simply babbling about absolutely nothing simply for the sake of babbling. He'd complain about how hard things were for him to accomplish or finish, even though his intellect is off the charts. He'd tell us how he couldn't read and then turn around and read a four syllable word on his own accord. He'd swing his right arm like a propeller, threatening to take off through the Sanctuary of our church or wherever he might have been. He'd go to bed, only to pop up again and again, like one of those horrible dolls that adults don't like, that look like a clown and simply (punch) won't (punch) stay (punch) on the (puncture, ssssssssssssssssssss-sss-s-s-ss-) ground.

We noticed as time went on that both the boys continued to show symptoms of ADHD in addition to some emotional "issues" that didn't quite add up. We didn't have a family history that would lead to those kinds of issues, and sometimes we would have problems, and other times they would be perfect angels. My wonderful wife and I continually bashed our heads against the wall, trying to figure out what the issue was.

Within the last two months, though, we had finally come to the end of our rope. We couldn't go to church without having other people stare at us. We were afraid to take our children to dinner because we never knew whether we were going to get Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. It was awful. While discussing the possibilities of what the problem COULD be, I had two people (my mother and one other person) suggest that the problem could be a food allergy. I myself am allergic to red dye, but we don't have a history of milk allergies in our family. How could that be it?

Then, one day, a new friend of mine, a co-worker, Kenneth (a very gifted musician), told me about his son, Quinn, who had exhibited symptoms of ADHD and let me know about how his band-mates had gone through an intervention with him. He simply made the suggestion that milk might be the culprit in our case as well. Well, God hit me on the head with a 2x4 at that moment, reminding me of the two other times that I had been told it could be food. This time, I decided to listen, instead of simply saying, "it's a possibility."

After hearing that, we went to my mother's house, where she had some soy milk. We tried it, kept them off of milk products for the day and waited to see what would happen.

Well, less than two weeks later, our world is very different. Gabriel doesn't get angry for no reason, he can concentrate better, his grades are going up and he has had an E in conduct since we removed milk.

Benton has responded by actually being able to sit through a meal in his chair, whereas before, he'd get up and wander, or run, or worse, bother other people in a restaurant, telling us, "I have to listen to my body." We haven't heard that statement once since we removed milk. We don't have to get on to him about not sitting down during meals, he offers to help around the house or EVEN (dare I say it out loud) simply starts helping for no reason.

It's been a miracle in our house. It could be in your house, too. Just for a moment, I'd like to talk to all the parents out there whose children have ADD, ADHD or are exhibiting symptoms of those. Before you investigate drugs for your kids, investigate their foods first. It's a much cheaper fix, allows their brains to develop more normally, and can provide you with some wonderful skills for parenting and helping your children grow naturally.

Milk... sometimes it DOESN'T do a body good.