I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF COMFORT FOODS

You know, when I sit back and think about it, I’m really a comfort food junkie.  I basically want to be a good southern gentleman with good southern food values.  It’s much like they say on that most manly of shows “Hot in Cleveland,” (It’s got Betty White, for cryin’ out loud!) “We want our men to be ungroomed and our vegetables to be meat.”

It’s really a simple equation.  Not much to me.  I used to be made of cheese... but now... I’m just a poor substitute made of tapioca starch and other “flavor bits.”  C'est la vie.

This weekend was all about comfort.  We were very excited to share Mother’s Day time with both my lovely bride and my mother for mother’s day and comfort just seemed to go right along with what many moms give to their kids.  We ended up having Daiya nachos (again) with a little different recipe and then made our own homemade cinnamon rolls, which are TO DIE FOR.  I think several small children were actually harmed in the making of these recipes.  So, let’s get to it.

Daiya Nachos Redux

Our previous Daiya nachos, while tasty, were a little more complicated to make due to the number of ingredients, and at the end of the day, don’t have a lot of that kick that we Texans are used to in our nacho cheese.  So, we decided to make it again with every man’s favorite vegetable... Rotel.

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:
1 1/2 C Daiya Cheddar Shreds
1 C chicken or veggie broth
1/4 C Tofutti Sour Cream
2 Tbps. Tofutti Cream Cheese
1 can of Rotels (in the spice of your choice)

You’ll need:
a medium sauce pan

Directions:
Combine your tofutti products and chicken broth together over medium head until you have a creamy sauce.  Add your Daiya shreds and stir to melt.  Add your Rotels to the mix and heat through and through.  Enjoy in good health.

Optional: Put the Rotels into a blender to make fairly smooth before adding to the recipe.

My Moo Rating:  4/5






Yup, it’s as good as I remember, and funny enough, when cooled, it acts EXACTLY like Velveeta.  You know, “LIQUID GOOOOOLD!”  But enough about me...

We used that and made nachos with other leftovers from the night before.  What?  There were vegetables... ROTELS... remember?  WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME!??  j/k

Moving on

Opinionated Cinnamon Rolls
About a year ago, my wife came upon this recipe for cinnamon rolls that will make your slap your momma (can I have a less violent menu).  So, naturally, it’s become popular in our home.  Benton’s been on a jag lately about food (shocker, I know), asking for specific items.  Who gave this kid an opinion?  That’s what I want to know.  The other things he’s asking for is my wife’s AWESOME kolaches, I’ll share that recipe coming up.  So, here you go.


Dough:
2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (110 degrees F (43 degrees C))
1/2 cup instant potato flakes
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 eggs
6 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup margarine, softened

Filling:
1/3 cup margarine, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
1/2 cup raisins (optional)

Glaze:
1 1/2 cups unsifted confectioners' sugar
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons warm water, or as needed

You’ll need:
A LOT OF STUFF
a small sauce pan
several measuring cups/spoons
two mixing bowls

Directions:
  Proof your yeast as directed on the package.  Stir the potato flakes, milk, 1/2 cup water, white sugar, and salt together in a saucepan over medium heat until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture reaches 110 degrees F (63 degrees C). Beat the eggs in a mixing bowl until smooth, then whisk in the warm milk mixture and yeast. Stir in the flour and margarine until a dough forms. Turn out onto a floured work surface, and knead until smooth and satiny, 10 to 20 minutes.
  Place the dough into a greased bowl, and turn over to grease both sides of the dough. Cover, and set in a warm spot to rise until doubled, about 1 hour. Punch dough down, and knead again briefly to push out the air. Cover, and let rest 10 minutes. Meanwhile, stir 1/3 cup softened butter with the brown sugar and ground cinnamon until blended. Feel free to make extra if you like more filling in your cinnamon rolls.
  Once the dough has rested, turn onto a floured surface and divide in two. Stretch and roll one half into a 10x14-inch rectangle. Spread half of the cinnamon filling onto the dough, and sprinkle with half of the raisins. Roll up the dough from the narrow end, and pinch the edges together to seal. Repeat with the remaining dough and filling. Grease two baking sheets, and cut each roll into 12 pieces. Arrange the cinnamon rolls onto the prepared baking sheets. Cover, and let rise in a warm place until nearly doubled, 45 minutes to 1 hour.  Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  Bake the cinnamon rolls in the preheated oven until light golden brown, 18 to 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, and allow to cool. Prepare the glaze by stirring the confectioners' sugar with 1 Tbsp butter, vanilla extract, and 2 tablespoons warm water until smooth. Use additional water if needed to make a pourable glaze. Pour the glaze over the cinnamon rolls while still warm.

Whew... I’m exhausted just writing down that recipe!  What you’ll end up with is really amazing to eat and to share.  And it makes a ton of rolls.  You have probably enough to make two dozen of them.  You can also take the leftovers and turn them into a cinnamon raison loaf, which would be FANTASTIC.

I PROMISE they are not that green when you make them.  Stinking fluorescent lights at the church...

My Moo Rating: 5/5

But, Daddy, It Has Vimatins, and I NEED Them

One of the things that we started to worry about as we were moving toward having no dairy in our lives was the lack of vitamin D and calcium that our children would miss as a result of not having milk anymore.  I mean, it’s probably fine if I didn’t actually love my children, but I kind of felt that nutrition should be toward the top of my list when it came to actually continuing to care for them.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that almond milk (specifically the Silk PureAlmond brand) has 25% more calcium than a regular glass of milk.  And all of that without that pesky, annoying side effect of making me want to shoot my kids!  What a deal we have for you today!

We’ve also put the boys on vitamins, but found that a number of vitamins (especially the “cheaper” tablet brands) have milk or milk byproducts directly in them as it helps to dilute the cost as well as the flavor of the vitamin.  We have since switched to Flintstones gummy vitamins, as they are see through, taste good (relatively speaking) and don’t make us act weird.  Well, any weirder than we already did.

Morning Muffins

The boys and I were getting tired of having PopTarts (no milk, woohoo!) and no-milk cereals for breakfast every day, so Chrissy was nice enough last night to make us some Duncan Hines Simple Mornings blueberry streusel muffins as well as some Simple Mornings cinnamon muffins.  They were quite good.  If you have egg allergies, you can replace the eggs in it with bananas, which is kind of interesting.  Gabriel and Benton both ate the cinnamon ones and said that they were very enjoyable.  I had a blueberry one to start and finished with a cinnamon one.  Here’s where we run into trouble.

My milk reactions are somewhat different than the boys’.  Theirs immediately affects their behavior, driving them into fits of being uncontrollable (sometimes for hours).  My allergy is much closer to a lactose intolerance in that, a bit after eating products with milk in them, my stomach begins to ache in a very odd way and I just don’t feel “right.”  I mean, generally speaking, I don’t feel right, but what can you expect from someone that works at a nonprofit for a living.  That right there should tell you that something’s wrong with me (tongue planted firmly in cheek).

So, on my way to work, my stomach starts hurting and I can tell that something has had milk in it.  Uh oh, that’s not good.  What could it have been?  Well as “luck” would have it, the second part of my allergy leads me to burping (not attractive, I know).  This gets kinda gross, so skip to the next part if you’re easily squeamish.  My burps end up tasting like the offending item.  In this case, I could taste blueberries VERY strongly, but no cinnamon, so naturally, I think it might be the blueberry muffins.  I plan on trying them tomorrow morning, because diagnosing a problem ingredient/item is much easier when you only have a sore tummy but can actually use your brain (stop laughing, Chrissy).

Recipes, Recipes... This is an APB for Recipes

I’m sort of running short of ideas to write about at the moment, so I’m going to do something a little odd (this is becoming a habit).  I’m going to ask you to give me some of your favorite recipe ideas in the comments section and I’m going to try making them milk-free for you.  Every family has those “staple” items that they want to continue to eat after they go milk or milk/soy free, but just can’t seem to figure out.  Or they can figure it out, but it takes 800 ingredients to get there (NO FUN).  

Well, The Ervins want to help.  So submit your comments and leave me your real name or email, and I’ll email/Facebook you to find out what the full recipe is so that I can remake it.