So, to properly appreciate the yelling that I am going to do today, please find your closest church, auditorium, empty warehouse, or other large source of unimpeded space. That’s okay, I’ll wait...
Good, now that you’re there, the biggest question that we have gotten is, “is the change really that dramatic?” And to that I say a resounding "YES!" It truly is that dramatic. Before, when we would take our children out anywhere, it would be an exercise in frustration, leading to some truly awkward moments when we tried to “discipline our children into behaving.”
When your children are suffering from what amounts to a mind-disabling condition, it’s impossible to get them to behave and we, as parents who believe in loving discipline, were simply forcing them to ask the question in their heads, and sometimes out loud, “Why are we being punished? We don’t understand. There’s nothing that we are doing,” even though their behavior was truly unacceptable. They just couldn’t fathom why in the world they were being punished because they had no sense of bodily control. They couldn’t make their little minds conform to what they KNEW they should be doing and were being punished for it. At the same time, we couldn’t know what was going on in their heads, and simply saw behavior that we viewed as “being ugly” or “out of control."
In reality for us as parents, it’s quite heartbreaking to look back on and has led to several tearful moments as we punish ourselves for putting our children through what we now see as a completely preventable condition. But, for parents who are in the same boat, don’t punish yourselves. Most of the modern medical community doesn’t even acknowledge that there truly IS an issue or an allergy when there is not an acute physically symptomatic attack or even a prolonged allergic reaction that can be measured. Allergies affecting psychological development and behavior are just now being researched and talked about in mainstream medical communities. The best thing I can tell you to do is pray, and listen for those people around you that God puts in your path that may see something you don’t. Talk to your doctor, and rationally explain to them the situation and ask them if they would be willing to look into doing an elimination diet with your precious child.
As for the change from the perspective of someone else, here’s how my Mom puts it:
Before, during “wild-man” syndrome, the children were out of control, not responsible for their own actions and constantly moving and talking. But, after the change, it has been such a miracle to get to see the personalities and control demonstrated by both children with no milk. The first time that we were together for a meal in the same house, and Benton was able to sit through without getting up was just a 360 degree turn from where he had been. The change with Gabriel was more subtle, thanks to his age, but was dramatic in its own way.
Being able to see their personalities actually come out has been very enjoyable and I feel like I have been able to communicate with them better and they are better able to understand that we love them simply for who they are. One thing you don’t have to do anymore is, you don’t have to worry about being able to take them into public. They were fine in the store with me yesterday, they just wanted to go look at toys. Which is totally normal behavior for their ages (6 and 9). On the driveway, after they came to my house, they played outside on the driveway and weren’t fighting. They’d check in every few minutes and everything was “hunky dory.” That’s how it should be.
So, yes is my answer. Aren’t you glad that I’m succinct? Have questions or comments? Anything you want to see or hear about on this blog? Leave a comment in the comments section below.
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